All That Jazz
by FiresideChild
Summary: Little drabblefest about Duo Quatre and Jazz. A oneshot. MAY have reprecussions of sequels, nausea, and OOC-ness.


"Damn, I think this sucker shrunk in the wash." Duo sighed as he shimmied into his outfit as he sidled up to his partner. The blond shook his head and nodded, "They don't make 'em like they used to, Duo." The braided boy smiled, "But we'll never change, right Quatre?"

"Never, old friend." The last words as the curtains swept aside showing the bright spotlights that stood in lieu of a visible audience. The applause softened as the two willowy boys walked on stage, their fishnet stockings and black flapper style outfits accented by a soft touch of red on both pairs of lips and a few spots of rouge. The brunette stepped forward into the spotlight and took a deep breath before he opened his mouth, the first note soft.

"Whatever happened to fair dealing?  
And pure ethics  
And nice manners?  
Why is it everyone now is a pain in the ass?  
Whatever happened to class?"

His tiny blond friend stepped up into the second spotlight, a warm yellow enveloping his pale skin. He took a breath and sighed out the word.

"Class.  
Whatever happened to, 'Please, may I?'  
And, 'Yes, thank you?'  
And, 'How charming?'  
Now, every son of a bitch is a snake in the grass  
Whatever happened to class?

Class."

They each turned to a half of the unseen audience and sang out.

"Ah, there ain't no gentlemen  
To open up the doors  
There ain't no ladies now,  
There's only pigs and whores  
And even kids'll knock ya down  
So's they can pass  
Nobody's got no class!"

Unseen to the two the audience settled back in their seats, enjoying the harmonious voices mingle in the air. The harsh words offset by the sweet tones uttered from either boys' lips.

"Whatever happened to old values?

"And fine morals?"

"And good breeding?"

"Now, no one even says "oops" when they're  
Passing their gas  
Whatever happened to class?"

The audience snickered at the joke and smiled as they always did, assuming the song was satirical and funny, when in fact it wasn't.

"Class," Duo sang as he crossed over to Quatre and took his hand. The spotlight turned a cold blue as they harmonized the next lines.

"Ah, there ain't no gentlemen  
That's fit for any use.  
And any girl'd touch your privates  
For a deuce.

And even kids'll kick your shins and give you sass  
And even kids'll kick your shins and give you sass  
Nobody's got no class!  
All you read about today is rape and theft  
Jesus Christ, ain't there no decency left?  
Nobody's got no class!  
Every guy is a snot!  
Every girl is a twat!  
Holy shit,  
Holy shit,  
What a shame.  
What a shame.  
What became of class?"

They let the last note settle in the smoky room until the music stopped. This was THEIR stage and they knew just how to use it. As soon as the applause began they ran to either side of the curtain and grabbed a sip of water. Duo was the first to run back out, starting into a duet version of "Rainbow High" from the pre-colony hit _Evita_. They were the best act at Club Colony. And the best part? No one could tell that they were two young men who worked at high profile jobs. Well, Quatre at least. Duo was just a mechanic. So yes, Quatre was still the WEI owner/CEO and heir of fortunes, and when no one was looking, a star at him and Duo's favorite restaurant and lounge. Superstars, Duo reminded himself as his best friend strode out on stage in a faux fur coat. Yep, he thought, these people have NO clue.

"JUST a little touch of STAR quality!" They ended the second song with a bang. They continued the program with one of Quatre's favorite Sinatra songs, "Come Fly With Me" as the people began to gather on the dance floor and chatter at the bar. Looking down upon it, one would find many interesting bits of scenery. Three men in particular might catch the eyes of an onlooker. The brunettes both stared at the stage in utter bewilderment, green and blue eyes wide in shock. The tallest, leanest man had an uncharacteristic string of drool hanging out of his mouth. And the more muscular of the three seemed to have lost the ability to speak. However, the last man, a dark haired dark eyed Asian who was sipping at a martini sat calm and collected. He broke the silence with a quiet cough that caused his companions to look his way, still shocked.

"Well, at least they didn't do 'jazz hands'." He said with a miniscule smile and he finished his martini. The other two simply passed out, falling from their stools. Wufei looked down at Heero and Trowa, "What? You have no idea how annopying that is!"


End file.
